On Getting On

No, this is not a picture of me. Not even twenty years ago. I just wanted to get everyone's attention. I hope it worked.

I was thinking (that happens every now and then) about this whole aging thing. It hit me when I turned forty, then really hit me when I turned fifty. Now that I have had so many friends and loved ones die of cancer and other diseases, it has knocked me for a loop. These people were all around my age. I always thought they would be around forever (just like me-I hope). Now I have to go on without them. It all leaves me feeling totally confused and kind of empty inside.

I see my parents, who are both turning 83 this year, talking about having to go to so many funerals all the time. Yet, they never seem to lose their enthusiasm for tomorrow. I don't know how they can look at a news story about what may happen in the next ten years, and not think that they may not be here then. I can only hope that I will be that way when I am their age. I know that worrying about tomorrow can become a full time job for some seniors, and I don't want to be one of them. Besides, it does absolutely no good to worry about it. We all need to plan for the future, but not obsess about our own mortality.

Now if I can only live by these words, not just say them. If I can just keep singing a song from the Rent soundtrack, No Day But Today. If I can stay focused on today, just getting through, maybe I will make it to a happy retirement (260 days and counting).