The New Incivility Towards Women

A few weeks ago everyone from Rush Limbaugh to Bill O'Reilly to many lesser known right-wing radio talk show hosts,  decided that they all needed to be going after a poor, unfortunate, Georgetown law student who had the temerity to state before a fake Congressional board, that while birth control pills do prevent most pregnancies, they can also be used as a cure for certain medical conditions.  Then Rush took the conversation to an even lower level by suggesting that all these women who want the government to pay for birth control (so they can have more and more sex) should tape their sexual encounters and send 'em on over ole Rush (AKA - America's sweetest windbag).  Damned hussies!  All this from an adulterer and former drug addict.  Where else would you go for moral judgments???

First the Grand Poobah of Bloviattors, Rush Limbaugh) spoke about her wantonness, her sexual desires, for why else would anyone need they BC pills???  He said young women today were spending more and more money so that they could have more and more sex without fear of pregnancy.  I found it ironic that a lesbian commentator, Rachel Maddow, had to explain to Rush that you don't have to take one of these BC pillss every time you have sex.  You only take them once a day, then you can have all the sex you want (all day).  Ca-raaazee sex fiends...

Now Rick Santoram says that we don't really need BC pills because they will only lead to more sex, for the purposes of pleasure only.  Every one knows, only married people, trying to have a baby, should be having sex.  The rest of us just have to wait until our time comes (unless your gay, a senior citizen, or maybe even infertile) before we too may know the joys of sexual union.

How is it that the party of less government is the most concerned about what goes on between a woman and her doctor or pharmacist?  In VA this week they passed a law that requires any woman requesting an abortion to have an ultra-sound of the fetus done (at her expense).  She will even be forced to view the results of the scan so she can make better choices about her reproductive health..  Sounds rather like A Clockwork Orange or 1984, not modern-day (I use that term loosely) Virginia.

I hope that female voters remember all that has been going on here in the Spring of this election year come November.  Remember the Republican party sees you as not capable of making your own health care decisions, without the help of your government.

The Gay Dichotomy

For many years now there has been a largely unspoken division among gay men. Many gay men are not comfortable around especially effeminate men, and don't often understand how the transgendered fit into our movement. I have struggled with these issues myself for a long time and I can't say I have come up with any concrete solutions.

Every time I see a Carson Kressley or a Perez Hilton on television, I just want to cringe. They seem to personify the worst gay stereotype there is. Bitchy, queeny, mean and after anything in pants, especially a straight man. Every time I see an ad for any of Rupaul's drag shows, I also cringe. I don't understand why these type of men are so dominant in the mainstream and even the gay media. It's as if all gay men want to be women, or as close as they can get.

I'm not saying anyone at anytime should be harassed or marginalized for being different. I just don't understand why the bitchiness always has to be there. I think that is the thing that turns many gay and straight men off the most. I have many friends who are gentle or effeminate, but very kind at heart. They are often the kind of people you want to surround yourself with. Good and kindhearted people. I don't understand why anyone would ever be bothered or feel threatened by them.

Underlying this whole discussion is the idea that to be gay one is naturally effeminate. And that being masculine is somehow considered straight-acting. This is so far from the truth. I know many effeminate straight guys, and many hyper-masculine gay men. I think the only thing that defines a man as homosexual, is that he wants to have sex or a relationship with another man. Then there are the men who just want the sex, but never the relationship. We call those guys toe-tapping senators from Idaho.

Telling someone who is gay that they have internalized homophobia because they don't like being around bitchy queens is ridiculous. It is not an innate characteristic of gay men to be effeminate. It seems to me to be more of a subcultural expectation. That somehow inside every gay man is a flamer just waiting to be set free. I have no such feelings, and most of the gay men I know don't either.

Then there is the transgendered issue. How the issue of gender identity became a part of the gay rights movement is beyond me. Sexual orientation is a simpler and more readily understood concept. Changing one's gender is far more jarring for most people. Both the one transitioning and those around them. I cannot imagine what the transgendered have to go through. They are treated the worst by society. Even by many gays. Maybe as the gay rights movement was being born and the drag queens were the first to fight back, that got mixed up with the transgendered issue (a totally different concept).

So what are we to make of all this internecine confusion? I think we are in the middle of a subcultural war here in America. Anyone who dares to speak against the gay orthodoxy is often criticized and marginalized. Even though we are fighting for tolerance, we seem intolerant of those who don't tow the party line. There is more than one way to be gay. If most gays don't understand why the media has made the negative gay stereotype the norm again, I have to join in their argument. Maybe that is because straights are only comfortable with what they have seen in the past, and can't grasp the fact that most gay men are just regular guys? Not bitchy, or mean or prissy.

I would like to see a more balanced portrayal of gay men in the gay and mainstream media. The gay joke shorthand always seems to involve some gay man getting in touch with his inner girl. Using the feminine pronoun and calling each other girlfriend. It was fun at first (twenty years ago), but now it seems that everyone believes that's all gay men can and want to be. This kind of thinking diminishes us all.

Click on the title box of this entry to find an interesting link about gays everywhere.