Breaking Boundaries

There aren't many times in your life, when you sit down in a movie theater, and you know something is changing. Such is the case with me today, when I went to see Brokeback Mountain. I saw people sitting in a crowded theater on a Sunday afternoon, watching something that could make them very uncomfortable, and not blinking an eye.

Before it gets over-hyped, or over-backlashed, let me just say that it is a very well made movie that shows America something it has rarely seen. A realistic portrayal of two men in love and the devastation that society's mores have on them.

Whether you are on the left or the right, it really doesn't matter. These two characters show what repression and hatred can do to two human beings. What self-loathing and denial produce. You see that the burden of society's expectations is often crushing.

The ex-gays look at this movie and see it as something else altogether. They see two married men who should have remained faithful to their wives. I see two men who should have remained faithful only to each other, never having married any women. Lies destroy the wives and children as well as the husband and father. Not to mention the man on the outside.

I hope America embraces this film, sees it for what it really is. Not a political statement, but the story of hopes and dreams thwarted and lives denuded. I hope even folks in the red states will go see it, and not just in the big cities. Anyone who has ever felt the pain of loss or loneliness will find it speaks to their hearts.

Holiday Cheer

As we begin another December, let us try and remember what this special season of the year really means. Strings of street lights, even stop lights, blink a bright red and green, as the shoppers rush home with their treasures. Hear the snow crunch, see...

The Christianists are screaming that stores shouldn't say Happy Holidays, because that takes the Christ out of Christmas. Well folks, their customer base consists of a lot more than just Christians. There are other religions, including paganism, that celebrate holidays this time of year. It is like these folks have no shame, everyone must bow down so that we can make this a Christian nation.

Then the Christianists got mad because people started calling them holiday trees not Christmas trees. Considering the fact that the idea of cutting down a tree and decorating it every December started long before Christianity was invented, I don't think they have much of an argument there either.

Now the Christianists are positing the idea that the US of A was founded as a Christian nation, and that all the founding fathers agreed on that. Well, if you look back at the history of the founding of this nation, especially at the drafting of the Constitution, you will see that the Christainists back then wanted to put more God in, but the secularists were able to keep God out (mostly). So the secularists won one way back in the 18th century, and now the Christiano-fascists are trying to fight this battle anew.

I fear for this land of ours when I see how emboldened the right-wingers are in their makeover of our country. Alito is probably the biggest thing they have accomplished that cannot be overturned by a right-thinking government (that we can elect next November). I hope America is waking up to all that is going on around them, before we end up being a theocracy along the lines of Iran and (formerly) Afghanistan. God help us if that happens.

Love That Man Murtha

I was just watching Congressman Murtha on The Situation Room. It is really hard to see this guy as a fast talking politician. He is so straightforward, such a straight shooter that you really have to marvel at the Republicans for attacking him personally. What were they thinking? I guess it was their typical knee-jerk reaction to any critic. Let's do a little character assassination.

Let's just step back from Murtha and the war and look at the bigger political picture. America is finally seeing Bush and his cronies for what they are, a talking machine with little substance. It's like the emperor's new clothes, this guy's got nothin'. I wonder what took everyone so long?

Cheney comes out of his bunker to bash anyone who dares to criticize the Bush policies, sneering the whole time. You're hurting our troops, giving comfort to the enemy, he says. No, what we are doing is showing the enemy that we live in a democracy and we can disagree with each other and still be united in our fight against religious fanatics. President Bush does not equal the US of A. You can criticize the President while still being a patriot. If the right-wing felt so strongly about it, why did they spend eight years tearing down Clinton?

Let's also look at the growing Jack Abramoff scandal. Today we see one of his cronies pleading guilty and agreeing to testify against his former friend. I can't wait to see this scandal unfold completely. You know that Tom DeLay and Ralph Reed are right in the middle of it. The hypocrisy of these guys is just beyond belief.

More scales will soon be falling from our eyes. What's left to see in the contiuing saga of Operation Desert Mask? Much more I would wager.

We Are All God

Most evolutionary theories posit that all life began with a single cell. That we all evolved from that cell into what we are today. It took millions of years, but eventually we all became complex creatures living in a very complex world.

Now what if that one cell was actually God? What if God is not a being as we know it, but a giant entity that encompasses all of us? What if the light of God is in each and every one of us? Passed on with the gift of life???

Each time we help our fellow man, we lift someone up, those are God's hands doing it? Every time we achieve great things, that is God in action.

I know it sounds like a strange concept, but how else can God really manifest him/herself but through our actions? There are the wonders of nature, of course, but that could be just another part of what God became.

Horrible things happen all the time, that could be God too. No one wants to believe that God could be responsible for evil, violence, disease and the wrath of nature. But who's to say that God sees these things as bad? Maybe in the greater scheme of things they are not.

Maybe God is just that divine spark in everything, moving mankind and the universe forward? Maybe it is what we call the life force?

One part of this theory would have to be that there is some kind of a plan in all this and that this journey we call life is not just a series of random events not leading us anywhere. I think we all need to believe in a higher purpose, something greater than ourselves. After all, we are the sum of our (God's) parts.

More About the Journey

I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Lucky Bitch Radio with Wanda Wisdom, and as usual I learned a lot. Wanda was talking about being happy, and how she, as a recovering alcoholic, has finally found peace. She said she had always been goal oriented and thought that happiness would come when those goals were reached. Well, happiness wasn't there at the end of the road. What she realized then was that she never had a plan for being happy along the way.

Being happy on the journey, what a concept. Since life is all about the journey, it sounds like something we should all be thinking about. Instead of just saying "some day" I will be happy, when I reach retirement, or graduate, or get that new job, etc., we need to start thinking about today (where have you heard this before).

I know there is always booze and drugs, but that is not much of a long term plan for happiness. We all need something to get us through from day to day, until we reach the end. Friends help a great deal, money seems to help to. There is always family, but that can be a mixed blessing. Then there is the search for meaning in all this.

I think that doing what you love to do on a daily basis is probably the best way to stay happy. Those of us who are tied to our jobs with golden handcuffs may have to wait a while to do exactly what makes us happy. But for those of you who are still young enough, don't spend your life doing something just to get by, just to earn a living. Get out there and find out what makes you happy and just maybe the journey will be a joyous one.

Tempus Fugit

I firmly believe that the older you get, the faster time goes. It seems like the 9th grade lasted a lifetime, but 1982 seems not that long ago.

I look at my life and think, at best, I have thirty or forty years to live. Then I think back over the last 30 years, and wonder where it all went. How did I get to be this middle-aged man who can retire (early) in the next few years?

The hardest thing to grasp is seeing old friends who have retired and realizing it was so many years ago. Wondering if my retirement years will go by in a flash. What can I do to slow down this ceaseless march of time? How can I savor every minute of my remaining life?

You can't really hold on to things, or people. They come and go whenever they will. You can't really stop, look, listen and make time stand still either. All you can really do is try to live the best life you can. Rid yourself of negative emotions. Try to make every waking moment a happy one.

Every time I start to feel angry, resentful, or petty, I stop and try to hold these feelings at bay. Try to look at why that person is so rude, or wonder - do I really resent that someone has that much more than I do. I am usually able to push these feelings away and keep them away. I don't know how or why I am able to do it, but I am very glad that I can.

So the next time you feel those crappy negative emotions heading your way, stop, think and let it roll off you like an indictment off Tom Delay's back.

Crazy Daze

I have always thought that the right-wing media machine merely spun things their way and occasionally exaggerated. It has become apparent recently that this is not the case. Turns out they have their own little (or big) alternate reality. In this world they really believe that Vince Foster was killed because Hillary and/or Bill put a hit out on him to keep him quiet. Same with Ron Brown. They show x-rays of his skull with a small entry wound at the top, in their world a bullet hole.

This is just the extreme end of their world. They also believe that Clinton is to blame for the recession that recently ended and that George the 1st was responsible for the Clinton boom that lasted longer than any other in history.

They believe that the Clintons and their ilk stole everything but the kitchen sink when they left the White House, even though later news reports indicated that it was all a Repub exaggeration to make the Dems look bad.

The list is endless. Anything bad that has ever happened was the Dems fault, all good things can be traced back to Reagan or Bush. They even rip Jimmy Carter apart saying he tried making a deal with the Soviets when he saw he could not win in 1980. What he thought the Soviets could do for him is left unexplained. Like most Repub BS, they figure if you say it enough times it will become the truth.

Lefties support dictators, the Catholic church never murdered anyone, and gays are taking over the country. The islamo-terrorists are every left-wingers best friend, and when we aren't hanging out with them we are performing abortions just for fun.

The idea that they could actually have a lucid discussion about the issues seems almost impossible. We'd both have to live in the same world for that to happen.

Judging by Bush's latest poll numbers I think their strategy has not been working too well lately. I can only hope that if Rove gets indicted that would put a huge nail in the coffin of the right-wing attack machine. But since reality seems to mean little to these people, it is hard to say if that will have any effect whatsoever.

What Have You Done Today (to make you feel proud)

If you don't know a lot about Brit-pop, you probably won't recognize the song title above. I find myself returning to this song over and over again for inspiration.

Today we buried a good friend of mine. She died of cancer at the age of 50. Way before her time. She was a kind and gentle soul who was always concerned with the welfare of others. Someone you were actually happy to know.

As her casket was rolled out of the church and all our tears flowed, I realized just how important today is. One year ago my friend seemed perfectly healthy. Today she is dead.

She did everything she was supposed to. Had annual checkups, exercised, ate right, went to church every week. I feel a deep sadness, tinged with fear, for myself and those I love.

What is this all telling us children? Well, we knew that there were no guarantees in life, but the older you get the more you see this happening every day. How someone in their 80's makes it through the day is beyond me. It must be ever present in their lives.

In the meantime, let's do just what the song suggests. Savor every minute we have. No day but today...

Our German Shepard

Yes, being about 75% German myself, I was trying to put the best face on this new pope. Let's give him a chance, I said. Maybe he will grow into the job.

As the linked article (above) clearly shows, this guy is much worse than first thought. Banning gays from the priesthood??? That's like banning women from being nurses. It's just the way it has always been.

I grew up in a strict Lutheran household, so I don't have too much invested in the Catholic church. Except that there are over a billion people professing the faith, which makes it kind of important to all of us. If you ignore them, they won't just go away.

We all know why this is being done. The church has never really addressed their child abuse scandal. So now they figure they can blame it on the gays. It wasn't the churches fault that they (the church) kept covering up for all these perverts, transferring them around the country just to get them out of the way. Never calling the police to report what unspeakable acts had been performed with these kids. No, they don't want to talk about how they dealt with the problem. How they could have stopped much of the abuse by booting these guys out right away.

Most Americans often equate gays with pederasts, but gays are far less likely to molest children than straights are. I am not even sure if you can use the term gay and straight for a pederast. I think it is just a predilection for children. The power over them, not having to deal with an equal in a relationship, etc. I think the church is counting on most American's misconceptions.

The other thing the Pope's minions will be doing here is ferreting out dissidents in all of our seminaries. Gay, straight, it doesn't matter, if they speak (at all) against the teachings of the church, they are out! It's like we just went back 500 years.

When Galileo was hauled before the Pope's rep, he was told that the earth could not possibly revolve around the sun. He ended up backing down, but that did not change the facts. It wasn't until the late 20th century that the church finally apologized for what they had done. How long will we have to wait for any apology for this Pope's behavior? When I think of all the needy people on this planet who could use the church's help, just to live, and the church is spending its energy rooting out gays and dissidents.

What I don't understand is why American Catholics don't break from Rome and just have their own church? Most Americans don't agree with the Pope on birth control, divorce, artificial insemination, celibacy, the list is endless. So why don't they just break off and go in a more forward direction? We can call it The Great Schism of 2005.

I think we need to have a bitch-slap the Pope day. I would really like to get my hands on that twit. The worst part is, he is probably a closet case himself.

Life Carries On

Just when I think this power of positive thinking thing is workin' for me, I find out that a good friend of mine is on a vent in Intensive Care, dying from cancer. We all thought she was doing better, but that is not how it turned out. She just turned 50 in March, so we are all just devastated.

Suddenly I hear my more religious friends wonder if God really does answer prayers. Being a spiritual but not necessarily a religious person, I don't have any answer. I thought religion was supposed to comfort people at a time like this. She's going to a better place, she won't have to live with this earthly toil, etc. There's the comfort of religion. A place to rest, where it is not all about the journey anymore.

Faith can be shaken, I know, I have seen that many times before. If it can't, then you are probably not very bright and can't think through things very easily. God gave us the power of reason, and that often conflicts with any faith we may hold.

I often find comfort in the circle of life. I remember seeing my pregnant sister-in-law standing at my grandmother's death bed. I saw it again as my pregnant niece-in-law stood at her mother-in-law's death bed. It is all about renewal and the power of life to carry on. Even if it is not necessarily your life. That's when it gets really hard to see the circle, as only the end is visible.

Time Passages

Trying to find our way through life, we often find ourselves depending on others for comfort and solace. As we travel down life's road we often lose these people along the way. People die or move away, or can't find time for you anymore (and vice versa).

Look back on life's road and think of all the people you thought would always be around. All the friends from college that meant so much to you, who you haven't heard from in years. All the loved ones who have died long before their time.

I visualize walking down a road, hand in hand in hand with the people who have been important to me, and gradually as I keep walking they all let go (one by one) and I am left alone. No matter how hard I try and hold them tight, they let go, and disappear into the mist. Off onto another path, on earth or otherwise.

How do you keep going, how do you find your way again? How do you recreate that sense of community that existed in the past? Tears only last so long, then you sit there looking for happiness again.

As you age you don't make friends as quickly and easily as you did in your twenties. I so don't want to end up lonely and bitter. Having other people around keeps you young and keeps your mind active, and studies have shown that social interaction helps keep depression at bay.

So folks, I will endeavor to be more outgoing and see what comes of it. See, I'm smilin' already, "Hey - how ya doin' today..."

Yikes!

Even I never thought Bush and his cronies could screw up this much. After all they are a well-oiled machine.

Let's start with Katrina. How do you wait for five days to fully respond to a disaster, in a place where said disaster has been predicted for years? How do you cut funds for completing a levee system for a city that is basically a bowl or dry land surrounded by water? Then spend that diverted money on Iraq? I could go on and on (and frequently have).

Main Entry: New Or·leans
Pronunciation: 'or-lE-&nz, 'or-l&nz, 'orl-y&nz, (")or-'lEnz
Usage: geographical name
city & port SE Louisiana between Lake Pontchartrain & Mississippi River population 496,938

People (not just Kanye West) say that the Bushies did this because they are racist . I don't really buy that. I think that they looked at the New Orleans area and saw a Democratic stronghold, and really weren't too concerned after that. These aren't potential voters, so let's not be too worried about them.

Let's move on to John Roberts. How do you nominate a 50 year old man with two years on the bench to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court? Think of all the great jurists out there in this country of ours, how do we end up with this man who has so little experience. I'm not saying I wanted Scalia as Chief Justice, but how about asking Sandra Day O'Connor back, or something!!! Roberts may be bright, but he is not the best man for this job.

And what about putting more women on the court??? We have one woman now (on a 9 person court), when women make up over half of this country's population. Sometimes I think Georgy Porgy just goes with his gut instincts, thinking they are infallible. Well, guess what, they are not.

Mother Sheehan

The Republican Machine is at it again. This time it is a poor mother who has lost her son in Iraq. They set out their talking points trying to tear her down, stopping at nothing in their quest to destroy the truth.

What is her crime exactly, oh yeah, she wants a few words with the President. He hasn't met with anyone he disagrees with for years. All his audiences are pre-screened and ask him pre-screened questions. Sounds more like the leader of North Korea than of the US doesn't it? "Yes fearless leader, I want to tell you how much I appreciate all you have done for us." Jeff Gannon wasn't the first plant and he won't be the last.

Getting back to Cindy Sheehan. I know not all parents react to the death of a child in the same way. It seems there have always been grieving mothers of soldiers at war. But no one can discount the way they handle their grief. They have to do what works for them. Any way to ease the pain and suffering they have endured/are enduring. Just trying to imagine that kind of pain is too much for me.

So, let's send Cindy our love and support. So the Borg and their constant barrage will not be the dominant voice heard by America. Whether we think our kids should come home now or not, we all know that this war has only made the war on terror an even bigger nightmare. Iraq is now the center for terrorists from all over the mid-east. What a giant mistake.

Not to mention what is has done to the price of gasoline...

Scotty O Goes to the Fair

Well, we made it out to the State Fair today. It is the 100th anniversary of the fair (in Detroit) although it is the country's oldest state fair, originally begun in 1849 (which is old by new world standards).


We had a nice time there. We saw (and smelled) some livestock, learned about animal husbandry, and the miracle of life. Ate corn dogs and elephant ears. Walked down the midway. A good time was had by all. The weather was just perfect.

These are some of the photos from my day.

Summer's End

Why is it that every year, summer starts in all the stores in March, and fall starts in early July. I went out to try to find some pool supplies in late July, and most stuff was gone. Try to find summer clothes in August and most of them are gone as well.

Do retailers ever actually live in the moment? I can find Halloween decorations in August, but not plastic patio furniture. I can get Christmas decorations in September, but the fall clothes are mostly gone.

It must really drive the teachers crazy. Hearing about back to school sales in July when they are not even half way through their summer vacations. I imagine the only folks not bothered by this time-shifting retailers like to do are the retirees. They can just relax and live their lives from day to day not really caring what's going on around them. I look forward to being one of them some day.

So, I just hang out in my pool, in the heat, knowing that it really is summer for at least another 5 weeks or so. Trying to keep my reality in the present moment. I sweat on a bike ride, looking for a cool breeze. Baking in the summer sun.

Podcasting

I recently discovered the world of Podcasting. For those of you who don't know what it is, just download iTunes from apple.com and click on podcasts in the Music Store.

Anyway, I have a first generation iPod, 20 gig, and have been listening to music on it for years. Now that I have discovered podcasting, I need more room. So, this week I ordered the latest (4th generation) iPod, 30 gig, from Amazon and am expecting delivery any day now.

Out there in the podisphere there are many interesting and many truly awful podcasts. The only way to find out what's what is to download some podcasts and give them a listen. I have downloaded many gay and non-gay casts. I also listen to some of the more mainstream and commercial ones too. What's really nice about podcasting is that you get to listen to your favorite shows (I love Al Franken and On the Media), when they are convenient for you. Great on a long bike ride or when walking on nature trails, or even driving in the car.

I listened to some gay shows that sounded like they were created by Hollywood's central casting. Bitchy queens, with high pitched voices or lisps, dishing dirt and calling each other girlfriend. All talking about sex and, of course, the penis. As if that is all there is to gay life. I suppose that is really how some folks are, but it really puts me off. I guess I need to hear from people more like myself, regular guys leading fairly ordinary lives. Where sex is just one part of their lives, not the be all and end all of it.

There are podcasts out there for every interest, so give it try. You might just discover a brave new world.

Look Back in Anger

Sorry I have seemed so angry lately. I don't mean to. I just get all worked up when I see what is happening in our country today. So many people who think God is on their side and that His love is only given out by their rules.

I don't dislike most straight folks. Just the ones who think they are somehow superior because they were born straight and I was not. To think that any kind of love between two (call me old-fashioned) consenting adults could be wrong is just beyond me. Love comes in so many flavors.

I really do believe that love is the most important thing we have here on earth. When you strip away all the bull that is life, love is the one thing that can hold us all together. Personally and as a group of human beings.

A simple act of kindness can be the most extraordinary thing. It can lift you up when you are at your lowest or most vulnerable. If only people would see how important compassion and kindness really are. Call me a bleeding heart, or any other term that you can come up with, I really don't care.

What I am really trying to say (and to bring this all down to the bumper sticker level) is that... Mean People Suck.

Weekend Pleasures

I just spent a long weekend in the Saugatuck/Holland area. We enjoyed ourselves and didn't spend too much time in any one place.

Holland is part of the more conservative west Michigan area that includes Grand Rapids. Lots of Dutch Reform types there. It is pretty ironic considering what today's Dutch are really like. Gay marriage, legalized prostitution, lax drug laws, etc. Everywhere we went in Holland, every one was blond and bland.

Saugatuck used to be a pretty gay friendly resort town. Now it is packed with families and other straight folks looking in the dozens of quaint shops there. The only gay folks left are the shop owners. We met quite a few of them. I just couldn't get over how packed the town was. It took us quite a while to find a place to park.

It seems that everytime the gays discover or create a great place to live/be the straight folks want to take over. They never have the guts to move into a distressed area or take a chance, but once the gays get everything nice and settled, then the straights come along and act like they just discovered a treasure.


We also stopped by Douglas Dunes - which is a huge gay resort in Douglas, just over the bridge from Saugatuck. That was nice. So many things going on there (inside the club). I still can't believe the things people do out in the woods though. I have never gotten into that. Those guys must be very short on self-respect. I guess I have always looked for love first and sex has always just been a part of that.

Straight Parents

Once again we hear of the superior parenting skills of those heterosexuals. Now a man has killed his three year old while trying to "toughen" him up because he thought he might be gay (see above link).

I can't begin to tell you how sick this makes me feel inside. Gays are abused, beaten and murdered all around the world every day. By governments and individuals alike. But to think that a parent would do this to his own child, all for fear he might be gay.

How do we protect gay youth? We thought we only had to start in high schools where gay kids are picked on every day. How could we possibly help a poor three year old boy who wouldn't even understand why his father hated him in the first place. Where are the right-wing Christianists now, the ones screaming about family values? A poor defenseless child, not safe in the bosom of his own family.

To make matters worse, the man's wife and friends all said the same thing. Oh, he was only trying to toughen him up so he wouldn't be gay. Like, of course that's what he should be doing. All in the best interest of the child. What a bunch of sick f..ks.

I only hope that the man, and his wife, get life in prison. They deserve nothing less.

What's Wrong With US

I have lived in Detroit and its suburbs all my life. We are just across the river by tunnel or bridge from Windsor, Ontario. How can it be that we have ended up so very different from our neighbors to the north?

Every time I go to Canada it feels like I am going back in time. To America maybe 25 years ago. A slower and more deliberate place. A place where violence is rare and people are still polite to each other (for the most part). A place where it's okay to be different from everyone else.

Judging by the poll I have linked at the top, you'd think our two countries were from very different parts of the world. Most Americans don't even think that gays deserve civil unions let alone equal marriage rights. How did the Canadians get to be so kind hearted and open, while we have turned ever more insular and closed minded?

I think it all goes back to the 80's, when Mr. Reagan and his ilk took over in Washington and began to turn the country back to a simpler time, a time when there was them and there was us. A time when everyone knew their place and you didn't act or think differently from the mainstream (without some type of sanction). Ah, the good old days are here again.

The promise of the 60's and 70's was crushed by the Rev. Falwell's of the world. The closed minded and frightened individuals who could not understand what was happening around them. Who believed that the bible was unchanging and to be taken literally. Funny how they only pulled out certain parts to take literally, the rest just seems to have become a quaint historical reference for them. Yes, you can work on Sunday without being put to death nowadays.

It's not that I think the whole country has gone their way. If you look at the election results from the last two presidential elections and compare them to the elections in the 80's, you'll see that the country is evenly divided. In the 80's the Democrats lost big time, winning maybe a handful of states.

The biggest factor turning the country rightward is that they are much better organized. They have a machine in place. A mean-spirited, cold-hearted machine that holds the absolute truth up to all of us, waiting for us to believe.

The Democrats by their nature could never be as mean and manipulative as the Republicans. They believe in the future and in the innate goodness of mankind. Republicans fear the future and think that only by going back to the tried and true will this country become right again. Shades of 1984. We know what is best for you.

Sometimes I see the glass half full, sometimes I see it half empty, and sometimes I just want the glass to spill over. Maybe start a new America, without all the Puritanical baggage that we can never seem to get rid of.

The Spin We're In

Well, the Rove saga continues. He has not exactly gotten out from behind the eight ball, but he has muddied the water so much that no one can tell exactly who said what to whom and when they said it.

I sometimes feel that the Republican spin machine is the Borg. All powerful with no known weaknesses. Between talk radio and Fox News they spin like a top all day long. Then they head to the mainstream media and do it again. When will someone find their Achilles heel? The Press came close to standing up to them last week, but now they just look dazed and confused.

Then there is Ken Mehlman. Jewish and probably gay to boot. How does he end up as the mouthpiece for the Republican party? He must be plagued with internal conflicts, all the while feeling like a lapdog (rather like the mayor of Portland). Self-respect does not appear to be the strongest feature of closeted conservatives.

For some reason I never felt too conflicted about being gay. I figured if someone didn't like me because I'm gay then they probably weren't worth knowing in the first place. I guess it all depends on how you define yourself (or if you let others define you instead). I have always refused to be assimilated, although I hear...

Resistance is futile.

Darth Tater

Like many progressive thinkers I have loathed the type of politics practiced by Karl Rove for many years. The politics of innuendo and dirty tricks, even against fellow Republicans. The politics of smear and hide. The politics that the party of Watergate and Iran Contra has used for a some time now.

Don't get me wrong, I don't like Rove personally either. In every interview I have seen him in he reminds me of the snarky kid in every school who thinks they know everything but deep inside is an insecure mess. Just look at the man and you can see it written all over him.

So why did Rove decide to let Time magazine's reporter release his name? To me that is the big question. Rove must have known it would have leaked out anyway, so maybe he is just trying to protect himself.

Now Rove and the Repubs are down to saying he didn't release her name to the press, just said it was Joe Wilson's wife. No one could figure that one out. Just like if you said it George W's wife, who would know who it was. Do they really think the American people are that stupid?

The spin of the day (also known as Republican talking points) spouted from Fox and every right-wing talking head on TV is that Valerie Plame wasn't really a CIA covert operative. Even though the CIA has said she was since the story broke in 2003. A felony is a felony Mr. Rove, even if the President is your best bud.

Let us all wait and see how the all powerful White House spin machine handles this one. They have the press hopping mad because they see the hypocrisy in all this. I hope the press stays mad enough to get to the truth and get Rove out of the White House and into the jail house as soon as possible.

Tomorrow Started

The news this week has been both good and bad. First the good news, Spain and Canada! Starting today gay marriage is legal in Spain, and Canada's lower house passed a gay marriage bill last week and its upper house will do the same soon. Happy Dominion Day and thanks to our friends to the north. I've been looking at real estate in Spain on the internet, that would be a great place to retire (I need warmth).

Now the bad news, Sandra Day O'Connor and Luther Vandross. I was so hoping it would be only Rehnquist resigning this year, but now we have a pivotal centrist leaving. You know Bush will pick some right-wing kook like Scalia or Thomas. I do not look forward to the battle ahead. It will not be a good one for our country. Clinton knew how divisive this all could be so he chose moderates who he knew everyone could support. Bush doesn't have the guts for that, he must appeal to his base and leave the rest of the country out in the cold.

When I heard about Luther I was totally bummed. I went upstairs to one of my PC's and put one of his CD's on. When The Power of Love began I just started bawling, all the way through the song. It so embodied what he was all about. Luther was more than a beautiful voice (his voice was truly a gift from God), he was also a kind-hearted soul. Someone who lived for his family and all his friends. You could see his innate goodness in any interview or concert. The fact that he was probably gay and knew he could never tell his fans is kind of sad. He was a romantic crooner and knew that an openly gay man could not (yet) pull that off in the popular mindset. I love you Luther for all you were and all you could have been.

I believe in the power of love...

The Heterosexual Lifestyle

It seems that every other day I am reading a story about some hetero mother or father who has murdered their children. Often in very horrific ways. The story linked above is even more horrible than usual because it involved child molestation and incest as well.

What is it about these heteros that they do not know how to take care of their children? Gay couples treat their kids as if they were gifts from heaven (which they are). We pamper and spoil them, dote on them constantly. We guard and protect them 24 hours a day.

Could it be that the het set takes these children for granted? Maybe it is because they come so easily to them. One drunken night and the next thing they know they are having a baby. They do not have to go through the hoops and minefields that gays must (mostly) do in order to become parents. Somehow children have become a cheap commodity to these hets.

Maybe they should make straights go through all that we do in order to reproduce. Make them go through evaluations at least to see if they are fit to breed. Judging from all of the news stories, that just might save a lot of young lives.

The Fallacy of Ronald Reagan

Last week US News and World Report had Reagan on the cover, remembering his D-Day, 1984 speech in Europe. Does anyone remember his speech - except Republican stalwarts? Where do they get this stuff about him being a great president? I guess the Republicans are really grasping at straws trying to find a great Republican president to lionize. After all there have been only two, Teddy Roosevelt (who was hated by most Republicans of his day) and Abraham Lincoln.

What were Reagan's accomplishments exactly? He did make us feel better about ourselves, and he gave very moving speeches. He was a trained actor after all, so I am sure he saw it as just another B-movie part.

Did Reagan help end the Cold War? That is a stretch. There were only two people without whom the Cold War would not have ended, Gorbachev and Pope John Paul II. Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech was a joke. How many other presidents had said the same thing. And the Star Wars defense project, if the Soviets had any Intelligence at all, they had to know it did not work (and still doesn't).

He did manage to do in eight years what had taken 200 years to do before, and that is - double the deficit. He did bring us trickle down economics, which we still have with GB the 2nd. Yes, if we just let those rich folks make more money, some of it will eventually trickle down to us. Are you wet yet? I know I'm not.

He did manage to ignore AIDS for most of his presidency. Within three years of Clinton taking office we had a viable treatment for HIV Disease. With Reagan we had mostly silence.

I think GB the 1st had greater accomplishments and did what the country needed in spite of the political costs. Something Reagan never did. He only thought about the here and now, not what was best for the country in the long run. Sound familiar?

This is what Merriam-Webster Online had to say about him:

One entry found for Reagan. Main Entry: Rea·gan
Pronunciation: 'rA-g&n
Function: biographical name
Ronald Wilson 1911- American actor & politician; 40th president of the U.S. (1981-89); achieved a significantly lower rate of inflation; lowered personal income taxes; greatly increased defense spending while reducing expenditures on social programs

I forgot about the inflation thing. You have to give him credit for that. Even if he had to double the deficit to do it.

California Dreamin'

Well, we almost made it to the Promised Land this week. The California Assembly came within four votes of legalizing gay marriage in the nation's largest state.

I don't know which is worse, if they had voted it in, and then there was a national backlash, or they didn't vote it in and we still don't have gay marriage in any state (that was not court ordered).

How people cannot see that this is just a question of basic civil rights is beyond me. The one argument the right wing always goes to first is that this could lead to group marriage, marrying your dog, etc. They can never just stick with the issue itself. Two adults of the same gender entering into a holy/civil union. That's probably because their argument is far weaker if they just stick to the issue. Two people, together forever (more or less).

They complain about the promiscuity of gay men, and then deny us the one thing that would help us all to settle down into well ordered lives. Not that that is for everyone, I understand that. There are plenty of folks, gay and straight, who think monogamy is unnatural and not in the least bit desirable. But for the rest of us, it gives us the one thing we long for, stability.

Study after study has shown that married folks live longer (not necessarily happier) lives. Having all the hundreds of rights that come along with marriage, not to mention the social supports for our relationships, would go a long way toward putting us all on an equal footing. The love that dare not speak its name would be the same as any other love.

I don't know how long it will be before America comes to it senses and stops thinking that heterosexual love is better than any other. We are all equal here, that is the point of this great experiment we call America.

We Will Remember

I visited the cemetery this weekend. Buried in the family plot among my grandparents (from both sides of the family) is a great uncle who died in France in 1918. He was barely twenty. I think of all that my grandparents were able to do with their lives and how that promise was cut short for my great uncle Frank.

Then I think about all the war dead, gay and straight. I think about all those who are dying in Iraq, needlessly. In a war whose justification did not exist. I think of all the other countries that could use our help as well, and I am torn. I want to see freedom in the Middle East, but I don't know if our role is to be the world's policeman. But I digress...

We must all appreciate those who have suffered and died for our country. In wars that were popular and not. They knew that we were all depending on them. They gave - that last full measure of devotion, as Lincoln so famously put it.

Without sounding too preachy, let's do all we can to see that the vets who are still around are honored and taken care of. I know Republican patriotism doesn't usually extend to the taking care part, but we must let the folks in Congress know that these vets should not be shortchanged. Before we give another millionaire a tax break, let's think about how much more important it is that we spend that money on our vets. To let them know that we are here for them too.

George Gray

I have loved this part of the Spoon River Anthology since I was in high school. Sad to say that it still speaks of/to me today. I HAVE studied many times
The marble which was chiseled for me—
A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor.
In truth it pictures not my destination
But my life.
For love was offered me and I shrank from its disillusionment;
Sorrow knocked at my door, but I was afraid;
Ambition called to me, but I dreaded the chances.
Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life.
And now I know that we must lift the sail
And catch the winds of destiny
Wherever they drive the boat.
To put meaning in one’s life may end in madness,
But life without meaning is the torture
Of restlessness and vague desire—
It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid.

Gays, the New Commies

Just look at the news from around the country and you will see story after story about how the right wing is demonizing gays. Trying to ban books that contain gay content or ones that are written by gay authors. Trying to block gays from being foster parents (forgetting that it was the child's abusive straight parents who made them foster children to begin with). And most of all, trying to keep those damn gays from marrying each other. Don't they know that straights are the superior beings???

At every turn we see that gays are truly to blame for what's wrong with America today. We all know that they have destroyed the American family by causing all those divorces. Oh wait, those are caused by straights. Gays are truly to blame for record amounts of child abuse and neglect. Oh wait, that's caused by straights too. Maybe gays are to blame for record levels of spousal abuse. Oh, not that either. I'm sure we can find some direct correlation between the rise of gay acceptance and the mess that the modern American Family is in.

If all these so called Christian groups would start focusing their money and attention on what's really wrong with this country instead of wasting it all on trying to oppress gays, we might actually see some improvement in the plight of the family.

The arrogance of heterosexuals to think that only they have a love that is worth celebrating (and accepting).

The Filibuster

I sure hope that TCM runs "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" in the next few days. Nothing can better show the power of the filibuster to fight for a just but unpopular stand. The filibuster hasn't always been used for good, but this time it will be.

Just what is this separation of powers that people keep going on about? Could it be that we need to have at least one branch of government not under the power of the Republic(ans)? Soon to be called The Empire. If the Senate falls to these power mad hypocrites, then the judiciary is certainly next. It seems that the Emperor wants to control all he sees.

Interesting how Hollywood can tell us so much about ourselves. If only someone were paying attention.

Darkness Falls

I don't know if any of you have ever had to deal with depression. I know I didn't see it coming, didn't know what it was when it hit me. I wasn't sad exactly, I knew that I just wasn't happy.

I did all the right things to correct the problem. Talk therapy, pills, more talk. It seems to have worked, for the most part. I'm still not the person I was before depression hit me. But I am better.

You're probably wondering "why the true confessions"? It's just that sometimes I see the glimpses of joy I once enjoyed on a regular basis, and I get more depressed (what a vicious cycle).

Aging does not help the problem. You have to deal with all the mid-life and end-of-life issues that you never thought about as a young person. You never had (or wanted) to deal with your own mortality then. Now it is your constant companion.

Yet time keeps passing, relentlessly. You definitely can't go home again.

Church People

I read in the news the other day about the preacher down South (where else) who has forced out members of his congregation who do not support President Bush. This is wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to begin.

First let's talk about the legal issues. A tax-exempt church forcing its political views on its congregants???

Second, Bush is not even running for office. So what is this all about? Signing a loyalty oath? Swearing our allegiance to our fearless leader?

I know most Christian Coalition types think the Constitution is, at best, a nuisance, and at worst, the devil's work. They firmly believe that they have all the answers, know the one absolute truth. And as Al Franken says, "that's the kind of thinking that flies planes into tall buildings".

The framers built a wall between church and state because they saw what could happen when the two were combined. Long before the Taliban, there was a thing called the Inquisition. There were religious wars upon religious wars. There were the believers and the un-believers.

Oddly enough, our country must start looking back if we are ever to have a future. We must learn from past mistakes and move forward, not back. We must fulfill our promise for a better world, where we all belong.

Stars Hollow

Do we ever really find a home as great as the ones that Hollywood can create for us? A place where we are loved, accepted, teased and generally understood by the community? A place where we belong?

That sense of community is something I think we are all looking for, whether we know it or not.

Even the most ardent loner must wish in their heart of hearts that they too were part of something larger than themselves. Something in and of themselves, but greater in its meaning and purpose.

Whether it is our place of work, our neighborhood, or even our town. These can all be communities where we feel we belong.

Losing that sense of belonging is one of the things that I think has gone wrong in our society. When we have no stake in the world around us, we find it easier to lash out, commit violent acts or heinous crimes.

Perhaps instead of spending all of our time trying to keep others out (gays, Arabs, anyone we don't feel we can understand) we might be better served by trying to bring more people into the fold. Give more folks that sense of belonging and acceptance. Thereby building a safe and happy place to live...

Just like Stars Hollow.

FDR's Legacy

Listening to President Bush talk this week over in eastern Europe, I was taken aback by his apology for the division of Europe after WWII. Here is a man who can barely finish a sentence on his own, criticizing Franklin Roosevelt for the decisions made at Yalta.

Not only do we have to look at the fact that FDR was gravely ill, what about the fact that FDR knew that America was not ready to fight another war, this time against the Soviets. Most of us can only imagine the world as it stood at the end of disaster in Europe (not to mention the fact that we still had to fight a war in the Pacific).

I agree that it was not a great agreement, but it was the best that Churchill and FDR could get past Stalin. How does someone as lame as Bush criticize (60 years hence) a decision that was made based on so many factors that we still don't know why it happened? First Bush attacks social security, and now end of war decisions. What next?

That's Scotty's rant for the week.

May Day

I spent the afternoon with my family today. They are all wonderful people, but I don't always enjoy their company. Today we had a good time, eating and laughing. Two of my favorite things.

My folks are both turning 80 this year, and I always enjoy being with them. I do worry about them though. I know what a lot of my friends have had to go through, taking care of elderly parents. My folks still live in the same house they bought in 1955 and have quite active lives. Luckily they are very involved in their church, which keeps them very busy.

Still, I know what's coming. I try to live in the here and now, but I keep seeing the future (and the past). All this sage advice people give us is not always very easy to live with.

I don't even know what to wish for, for my parents' future. Die suddenly, live a long time in a nursing home, or in home care? What would I want for myself? To live forever is the only thing I can come up with.

All I can do for now is hold them close and let them know how much I love them. I hope that's enough.

Republican Majority

For years people have been saying that if the Republicans ever had total control of the government, they would try to turn this country into a theocracy. Well, guess what, they are now on the march.

Luckily the American people are starting to take notice. No, you can't bend the rules (on an ethics committee no less) to protect your unsavory leader. Yes, you can still be a Christian and support the judicial filibuster. Every day there is a new right wing agenda item coming up in Congress.

Where will it all end? So far they have managed to change the bankruptcy law to suit the credit card companies (not even exempting people who went broke because of a medical emergency), voted to dig in the Alaskan reserve, and even managed to pass a bill today that won't let someone get an abortion in a neighboring state if the state they come from did not allow it. Who knew that our state laws should travel with us wherever we go.

Wondering where we're headed? Looks like the American Taliban is trying to take over.

It Can't Happen Here

The news all over Rochester Hills today is the story of a 15 year old boy who stabbed his mother to death. She was a divorced hypno-therapist whose license plate read LOVE4U. By all accounts she doted on her son, who most folks say was just a typical teenager.

How do people come to this? How does an ordinary high school freshman one day reach for a knife and stab his own mother (111 times)?

Is it the culture we live in? The culture of violent video games and movies, where slicing someone up is considered fun and entertaining. Do our children become desensitized to violence because it is such a large part of their everyday (entertainment) experience?

All I can do is react in sadness and dismay. Two lives totally destroyed, the promise of the future brought to nothing.

Losing a Loved One

Heidi Siw

They say you shouldn't be too sad when a pet dies. After all, she was only a dog. But, I am finding that the sadness continues longer than I expected. I was surprised at the number of sympathy cards I received and the number of friends who emailed to say how sorry they were.

As I watched her suffer the night she died, I remember thinking that I could not end the suffering of a loved one, if they were human. I would just have to watch them struggle in fear and pain. Luckily I could take my dog to the vet and end her suffering, painlessly and without fear.

Then you put yourself in their place. That makes it all too painful and frightening. I hope there are more Dr. Kevorkians out there when my time comes.

Helping Others

I think I find my greatest joy when I am helping someone. Especially someone who can't help themself. But I wonder am I doing it just because it makes me feel good, maybe even lucky that I am not that person?

We should be wanting to do things for others because it is the right thing to do, not for purely selfish reasons. Maybe I do it for both reasons?

Today's lesson children is Know Thyself. That's probably one of the hardest things to do. There's the you that you think you know, then the other side that comes out occasionally. Which is the real you? It's all about the motivation. Why are you doing what you're doing. That's where the real you lies.

Why Go On?

You have to wonder, at least every once in a while, why in the heck we are here. If you have a strong religious faith, maybe you already know. If you don't, maybe you don't care. But what if you are in between???

That's my dilemma.

As you grow older, you begin to see the end of life's journey, you see friends dying, even in their forties and fifties. You wonder, am I next. It's all about me...

How sad if that's true.

I was brought up to believe that we are all here to do good works, to help others. I still feel that way. Mostly...