I have been feeling better of late, not as depressed as I had been in the past. Usually winter is the worst time of the year for me, but somehow I don't feel the gloom right now.
I do feel sad, however. Sad at the loss of two members of the same family in one week. Sad at two funerals I had to attend. Sad at the loss of one so talented as Heath Ledger, gone much too soon.
As I stood in the funeral home, I kept thinking, I wish I knew what to say. What words of comfort could I possibly give to anyone who has just lost her husband and her mother, his father and his grandmother... and to all the others who loved them? It is at times like this that we are most at a loss for words. Maybe it is because we cannot even fathom all that we are seeing.
What does is mean to see that body lying in the casket? Is that the person we knew and loved? Perhaps it is just the vessel that tied them to this place, and to us? How can we reach out and help others with things we can't even comprehend ourselves?
As I sat and listened to the words the preacher had to say, I tried my best to keep my emotions in check. Tried to show a comforting face to those around me, those in mourning. In the end, I think that's all we can offer them. Our presence, there, in that time and place. Perhaps the grieving take solace in the presence of all those who knew and loved the one they lost. Take comfort in knowing that they are not alone in this, no matter how empty they may feel inside.
The circle of life is all I can see right now. I see his son standing before us, looking so much like him. I see my friend living on through him. That is all I can comprehend. That is all I know that is real and understandable.
