Happy Holidays

So the holidays are almost here. Cable is filled with Christmas classic (and not so classic) movies. CNN talks of nothing but the next election (this one started way too early), and I have only a few days left before my Christmas break.

Big snow storm predicted for southeast Michigan this weekend. They predicted a big snow and ice storm for last weekend. That never happened here. Ended up further south in the plain states. I hope this weekend's storm stays away until next weekend. Then I won't have to worry about driving to work.

I tried watching the debates in Iowa this week. I am just so weary of this campaign. By the time the conventions are here I am sure I will be comatose. It is good to see that America still sees the Republicans for what they are. Mostly hypocrites who have turned to their base and forgotten everyone else. An entire generation has grown up thinking that the word Christian means: fundamentalist, evangelical, right wing kook. Could be why many kids today aren't that interested in religion.

I am hoping that the Democrats will bring some real Christians into their campaigns. Those who care about those less fortunate and want to help the helpless. Much like Jesus did. These Christians aren't obsessed with gays and politics. Imagine that.

It is at this festive time of year that we are most concerned about those in need. It has been this way for hundreds of years. Now is the time of year when we should most live our faith. If we see ourselves as an extension of God, than we should help all that we can. I don't know of anything that can bring greater joy than helping others.

I wish you and yours all the best, no matter what holiday you may be celebrating this time of year.

The Never Ending Story

So now Mr. Bush has decided that he will do whatever the generals in the field tell him to do. Why wasn't he listening in 2003 when they all said they needed more troops to keep the peace than to fight the war? Or when they have told him that every year since then? Now he is hiding behind the generals because his failed policies have no chance of succeeding.

What we really need is a political surge, on many fronts. There is no way that this struggle can be won completely by military means alone. We must talk to all sides, we must talk to other countries in the region. Everyone must have a stake in this or it will never succeed.

Mr. Bush played right into Osama's hands when he brought our troops over there. Bush helped not only to get the Arabs to hate us, but much of the rest of the world as well. When I think back to all the good will that was generated around the 9/11 tragedy, and to see now that most of the world hates us more than they have at any time in our 231 year history as a nation, it makes me sick at heart. It will take us a long time to get back to where we were before the Bush debacle.

The other thing that really angered me this week was when Team Bush announced that yes, we would reduce the number of troops by 30,000 by next spring. So what if it just happens to be the same number of troops we sent over last spring for the surge. Why does everyone act like this is some great change of course that is being announced? We will end up where we started, with some minute progress in a few key areas.

Then we get to General Betray-us. According the the right-wing, he could walk on water. But when even he was asked if the fight there is making us safer at home, he replied that he didn't know if it was. That is as close to straight-shooting as he got all week. It just worries me that our military men are now an arm of the political machine. We need an open and honest military that will not take sides in any political debate, but give us the facts on the ground. We also need political leaders who will listen to the advice of those who are fighting the battle, and not only when it suits them (see above).

What a mess Mr. Bush will be leaving to the next president, no matter what party they come from. That will be his legacy, even a hundred years from now.

The Party of Hypocrisy

How many times will we have to see a holier-than-thou Republican get caught with his pants down (or heading in that direction)? If they are not frequenting call girls, then they are writing lewd emails to pages, or hiring male prostitutes for a massage (and some drugs).

I have used public restrooms all my life, but I have never tapped my foot in the next stall, or even responded to a toe tapper. How anyone can cruise restrooms for sex, while someone in the next stall is taking a dump, is beyond me. I guess it is one of only a few outlets left for the closeted, usually married, gay man.

Of course, it all depends on how you define gay. Senator Craig may not really be gay, as I might define it. He may only want sex with men, but can't imagine any kind of romantic or emotional relationship with another man. What I like to call, half a gay man.

I hope it is a generational thing, happening to men who came of age before the gay liberation movement took hold. Or maybe it happens to someone who grew up in a backward state (for example Idaho) and never really felt the freedom that gay liberation can bring. I guess it just makes me sad to think that in 2007, there are so many men who can't live free and open lives. What damaged psyches and souls they must all have.

I don't think you can live this kind of life for long without it taking a toll on your mind and body. Living a dual life must result in raised stress levels, perhaps resulting in depression or at least some form of neurosis. Fighting something that basic to your very being may even lead to suicide.

How long will we have to wait before all gay teenagers will feel totally safe in every part of the country? I hear more and more stories about kids coming out at 12 and 15, but that usually only happens in larger metropolitan areas. Oh for the day when we are all treated as equals in this country. The rest of the world in another matter.

I know I am talking pie-in-the-sky, but I truly hoped this would all happen in my lifetime. I know we have made great progress in the last 40 years, but we still have so far to go. Sometimes I get discouraged, but then I try to lean toward the glass being half full. That seems to happen on most days.

Senator Craig grew up in a different era and in a less than progressive state. He bought all that was sold to him, and did not follow his own path. He followed the path that was expected of him. The path of least resistance. Could we have expected anything more from a man from his time and place?

So, let us all hope for a better day, and a better time, where we are not judged by something so intractable as our sexuality, but by what we do while we are here on this earth.

China, The Red Menace

So here we all are, shocked that China would be sending us intentionally poisoned or defective products. This from a country that pays their workers an average of 17 cents an hour. Talk about cutting corners. I don't have time to repeat all the shortcuts that I have heard Chinese companies make to get their product to market at the lowest price.

Who might be China's number one customer (and I don't mean what country - we all know it is the US of A)? That might be WalMart. This company has done more to run small and medium sized manufacturing jobs out of this country than anyone else. This is after they single–handedly destroyed small town America.

Here's another news flash. WalMart's profits were not as high as expected in the last month. Why, you may ask? Because their customers don't have enough money, until payday, to buy their products.

So WalMart destroys good paying American jobs, then wonders why their new, lower-paid, customers can't afford to buy their products. If they had only looked at history, maybe Henry Ford and the $5 work day, they would see that if you don't pay people enough to buy your products, your sales may go down.

It is not just WalMart that is to blame. It seems that in the Bush era, what is good for the corporations is good for America. And low paying overseas jobs are great for corporate America's bottom line. At what point in our history did the well-being of one's employees become of so little consequence? When did America's companies become only international companies, with no thought to what may happen to the home market, which is the engine of the world economy.

I live in Michigan where this dilemma has hit the hardest. If you cut everyone's pay, sometimes by half (see Delphi Corporation), who is going to buy your products? Will we go back to the 19th century where the chasm between rich and poor was horrifyingly large? It wasn't until Henry Ford and his concept of paying workers a livable wage, so they could afford his product, that the large middle class in this country was created. Look at the rates of poverty in the late 19th century, across all age groups. Compare that to today's. The change is remarkable.

It is ironic that in the first decade of the 20th century Teddy Roosevelt went after large corporations and monopolies and in the first decade of the 21st century, George Bush is doing his best to reverse all that. And those corporations are crying that it is unfair to business to not let them hire illegal aliens at half the wages of the locals. It hurts their bottom line, they say. They can't compete.

It is hard to feel sorry for the people who are destroying the middle class of America (OMG - I'm Lou Dobbs). Now even our houses, which most Americans counted as their single most valuable asset, are losing value. And Wall Street just noticed this last week. Oh my... when will they pick up on the China connection???

Wilbur, the Broken Bunny

The other night I was in my basement doing laundry, when I heard something crawling through a pile of face plates. I saw it emerging from the pile and kept hoping it was not a mouse. No, it turned out to be a baby bat. Wings spread wide, crawling along as best it could. I happened to have the dryer lint trap in my hand, so I put it on top of the bat and looked for something to carry it out in. I ended up finding a box and took the bat outside and put it in the backyard. I have no idea why its wings stayed wide open as it walked, but I have to assume it was able to signal its mother for help.

One hour later I let my dog out in the front yard, and decided to go out on the porch and keep an eye on her. I don't know why, I usually just let her out and wait for her to come back to the front door. I knew we had a rabbit warren in the middle of our front yard, so I made sure she did not get near that. A few minutes later I saw her dig her snout into the lawn and come up with some creature in her mouth. I screamed at her to drop it, and she did. I saw a small creature scamper away, but I could see that it was wounded.

It ran into the street, so I went to find something to pick it up with. Turns out it was a baby bunny, and something was wrong with its hind legs. I got it to crawl up on a piece of cardboard and I took it back to the warren in the middle of my lawn. I could tell it was exhausted from trying to get away as it just laid there and did not move. My hope was that the mother would come back and take care of it, as I made a point of not touching it with my hand. I know that sometimes a human touch can put off the mother.

The next morning the bunny was still lying there, so my other half picked it up and put it in a small box. We called our vet and asked what we should do. He said to bring it in and he would take a look. Turns out that the bunny's right leg had been recently broken and could not be set. The vet said that our dog had not done this just by picking it up for a few seconds. It had probably been pounced on by a cat or something. He told us it was a boy and that it would not be able to survive long in the wild with a broken leg. He recommended that we have him put to sleep.

Of course you know we could not do that. So we brought him home, bought him a cage and named him Wilbur. He doesn't really have any teeth yet, so we bought some baby food (mushed carrots, of course) and shredded some whole carrots as well. We also bring him dandelion leaves and tall grass to eat as well. The doctor had given us a hypodermic needle full of pain killer, and we were told to give him two drops by mouth every 12 hours.

During those first few days he would not eat much. Once the painkiller ran out, his appetite returned. He now eats like a swine and poops like a champ. He seems to be moving around a lot better, though he still drags his broken leg behind him. I know of several friends who are willing to take him, but we want to make sure his leg has healed enough so that he is not in any pain.

We take him out of his cage every day and try to get him some exercise. He seems to be getting used to us and is no longer frightened as we hold him near our hearts. He will even let us watch him eat, with his tiny little mouth.

I know we did the right thing. I just could not let nature take its course and let him die in the wild. I only hope that we can find him a rabbit's life that is worth living. Pampered, but in a caged world.

Making it Through

Is life always a struggle? When you watch TV you think either everyone is a murderer, or living very happily somewhere. It does not seem to reflect the people I know, or have known. There are some good movies out there that try to show the mundane complexities of life, but they are mostly independent films.

I know it is called the entertainment industry for a reason, but I think people might want to see themselves reflected on screen occasionally. Even if it is only so they don't feel so alone, or so out of place. Not that my life story would make an interesting film, but I know that most people out there struggle to live, on many levels.

Half the people I know are on anti-depressants, and many people I know, especially here in Michigan, are struggling financially. I have lived here all my life, and I have never seen the middle class so challenged by the economy. Don't even get me started on the housing market. That has been a sure thing since the '50's, and now even that is tanking. And not just in Michigan. That was the one asset everyone had that would make money over the long term. When you retired, you could sell your house, buy a smaller place, and still live well. Those days are fast disappearing.

The Bushies will tell you that the economy is doing well, and it is, if you are a large corporation or already rich. If you are like most people, struggling to stay in the middle class, many of your jobs are being shipped overseas. Which, again, makes more money for the corporations, but leaves those of us still here struggling to find a decent wage job.

I hope that America wakes up in 2008 like they did in 2006 and sees that only the Democrats have the middle class at their core. Not to mention the poor and working class people too. This divided government thing does not seem to be working in Congress or in our state government. No one is willing to find a middle ground anymore. So, I say, let's give the Dem's total control for a while and see what they can do. It worked well in the last decade, they even worked well with a Republican controlled Congress.

Running Away

Have any of you ever thought of just running away... from your life? I think it is something many of us feel from time to time, wanting to be free of all the problems and worries in our lives. Sometimes even wanting to flee from the people in our lives.

I have felt that of late, wanting a new beginning. Being able to start life over with all the lessons I have already learned would be the ticket. Avoiding all the serious blunders in our past, choosing the road not taken. You have to wonder though if anything we do can really change our fate. Are our lives not already pre-ordained for us?

I am a strong believer in fate. Both the good and the bad. Sometimes I think that our lives are already pre-set. The day of our death can not be changed or avoided, it will come when it is the right time. The choices we've made in life were all in the plan that fate (or God) had set for us. It certainly makes you feel powerless sometimes.

Then there are those who believe that we make our own destiny. The two schools of thought are not mutually exclusive. You may have been pre-ordained to be a person who takes life by the short hairs and runs with it. You may think you're in control, but it's your life's plan being played out, as scripted.

If you have a strong religious faith you may call it God's Plan. Others may call it fate. Calling it God's Plan does make it seem more palatable. To feel there is a guiding hand, someone or something that has your best interests at heart and will lead you to a happy ending. Fate does not necessarily have that happy ending component. I find great comfort in the God's Plan theory. Even though I am mostly an agnostic.

No matter how you slice it though, it seems pretty amazing, and frightening all at the same time. Every day a journey, whose script was written long ago.

But getting back to the running away theme (above), there is a song in Into the Woods called No More, where a father and son are discussing running away from their lives. The father sings to his son, "the trouble is son, the farther you run, the more you feel undefined". He concludes by singing, "where are we to go, where are we ever to go". The moral of this tale, and our own, is that you can't really run away from life, we are who we are and nothing can change that.

The First of May

There is something about the first of May that has always spoken of promise to me. Even though Spring started back in late March, usually by May first you can see all the buds on the trees, all the early blooming flowers and bushes shining in brilliant color.

I often think back to the old Bee Gees song, The First of May too. It has a sweet sadness to it that reminds me of the promise of Spring. It speaks of the change of seasons, remembering a love that is gone, but will never die.

It's on the first of May that I most remember all the friends I have had in my lifetime. Not all are gone from this earth, just gone from my life. Friends from college and even high school who meant so much to me, but somehow we lost touch. I think this happens to a lot of people, it is just a natural part of the life cycle.

I do have a few friends that I have kept since college. They may now live in other states, but we still keep in touch. Still visit whenever we can. There is something about the shared history that we have with each of these friends that can really brighten a day. I think that is one of the many reasons why the AIDS crisis hit gays so hard. All those memories, shared experiences, they seem to disappear when you have no one to recall them with. That is why I try and hold on to my old friends, no matter what obstacles I may encounter.

Technology certainly helps with this. I can IM friends in Europe or Colorado and chat like we are in the same room. Share a laugh at an old friend's expense (usually mine), or just catch up on the news of the day.

It really seems to re-charge my batteries, and brings a little joy into a usually dull and tedious day.

So kids, here's your advice from Uncle Scotty. Hang on to your friends that are worth keeping for as long as you can. And don't be afraid to make new ones, no matter how old you get. I know making new friends seems to get harder the older you get. But, there are a lot of great people out there that you have yet to meet.

When Will It End?

As our nation grieves over the loss of 33 innocent lives in Virginia, I weep at the horror and senselessness of it all. How can anyone, unless they are deranged, commit such an act of violence on innocent children who were just starting their adult lives?

I am sure, soon, this will become grist for the mill of politics, but now, at this moment, on this first night, let us set all that aside and try to find an answer to this plague of shootings, in offices, and classrooms, dormitories and shopping malls. How did we get to a place in our history where these things only shock us when the body count is high?

Can we blame it on the gun culture, that has been around since the founding of this republic? I don't really think so. Besides, everyone of these men/boys who commit these crimes finds a way around the law, just as most criminals do.

What is it that stirs within a man that can make him think that his and other lives are of so little consequence? Just targets on a video game, who bleed real blood. What problem do they think they are solving with these heinous crimes?

And what of the victims, most of all, who had the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time? All that promise, all that vitality of youth, crushed in a single moment. First, we must weep for them. Weep to the core of our beings, at what the youth of today must face in places once thought safe in generations past. Then we must rise up, and do all that we know how to make sure that this never happens again.

The Crusades

Last night I watched the first part of the PBS series, America at a Crossroads. The series deals with how and why the Middle East has become such a large part of our lives. The first episode dealt with Osama and the birth of his extremist movement. The most alarming part was how we played into Osama's hands with our invasion of Iraq.

After our attack on the Taliban in Afghanistan, Osama and his gang were at their lowest point ever. We had world opinion on our side because of 9/11, and because of the world's disgust with what the Taliban had done to Afghanistan. Then, out of the blue, we invade Iraq.

Now the world had turned on us, Iraq is full of death and destruction, for our forces, and for the Iraqis. The Bush administration thinks that the only way out is through military intervention. They have no plan B. Anyone with half a brain can see that there has to be a political component to this, if we are ever to get our forces out of there, and if Iraq will ever become a stable democracy.

Nancy Pelosi has at least tried talking to the Syrians. Some Republicans from Congress went to Syria the week before, but they did not seem to get any media attention. I think both parties, outside of the White House, see that there must be another way out. Sending more and more of our children there to die is not the answer.

The most frightening thing about the show was the depth and breadth of the hatred the Islamists feel for Americans, and all of Western Culture. They still call us the Crusaders, and plan our downfall by bankrupting our economies through constant war in Muslim countries. So far their plan is working. We can only hope that when someone smarter gets in the White House, that we will find a way out without turning the Middle East into a powder keg.

The real answer is, of course, to find alternate sources of energy and to leave the Middle East to its own devices. Right now, everything that happens there affects the price of fuel, and soon natural gas. We need to stop our reliance on this area, and Bush is right about that. The government needs to make a more concerted effort to find sources of renewable energy.

So, the Crusades may not really be over, even though a thousand years have passed. Let us hope it does not take another thousand years to solve this dilemma.

To Live Until We Say Good-bye

I have lost yet another loved one to cancer. Someone so kind and gentle, I just can't figure out why God would have put her through such pain and suffering. The Lord works in mysterious ways indeed.

At times like this many people turn to religion for guidance, consolation and hope. Just as many seem to turn away from religion, asking the question, what kind of God would let this happen? I am often torn between these two opposing views.

First and foremost I need to turn to something or someone for solace. There is a certain comfort in the traditions of the church, the solidity projected by most faiths. Having the good Reverend spout the usual platitudes can sometimes reach through the numbness and pain you feel over the loss of someone so dear.

But there is also an element of anger at work here. How and why would any God let this happen? What possible purpose could it serve? Is there even a God up there watching over us with some kind of plan for each and every one of our lives???

Which brings us to the biggest debate of all, that between faith and reason.

Having been brought up in parochial schools, saturated with Lutheran dogma since the age of 3, I have a very hard time separating out what I may feel in my heart and soul, and what the reasoning part of my brain is trying to tell me. Many people, as they age, find that doubt enters into the picture and lingers for many years. I keep praying that all my doubts will end, that the certainty that I felt in my youth will return and I will see death as just part of the greater good. That the soul of my loved one is in a better place, and this temporary stop we call life on earth, is over.

You wonder sometimes who is better off. Those shallow people who just simply believe and do not even bring reason into the picture, or those of us torn apart by a questioning mind. They seem to be much happier than we are, but are they better off? Sometimes I even wish that I did not always have to think quite so much. What and where exactly has it gotten me?

As I say goodbye to my loved one tomorrow I will try to think only that she is in a better place, with the angels, with her loved ones who have also passed, and that they are sitting on a cloud somewhere looking down at all the suffering here on earth and rejoicing in their good fortune, to have finally made it to the promised land. Sometimes when the pain becomes more than we can bear, that may be the only solace we have.

Living Through the Blues

Sorry I have not posted lately. I have been down even further than usual. Can't explain it, life is as good/bad as it ever was. Went to the doc yesterday, and got some new meds. I can only hope that they will help me out of this hole I am in. I just don't seem to want to face the world.

Switching from my small world to the world of American politics, it has been quite an interesting month. Can the Bush folks do anything that isn't inept or purely politically motivated? And it seems that the Democratic controlled Congress has brought out the mea culpa side of the White House. Who would have thought that you would ever hear the WH saying that mistakes were made, in any way, shape or form. Now it just keeps happening.

Good news about the Federal Attorney scandal. Congress may be able to subpoena Karl Rove, to see how he was involved. How is it that one of his pals just happened to replace one of the fired attorneys? And there are even emails where the whole issue is discussed fairly openly. How ever did that happen? Can this be a new, more open White House, or one that is falling apart?

Switching to General PP, saying that gays are immoral. I do not want or expect that he should retract his statement. They are his own personal feelings, and he is entitled to them. I was glad to hear that he realized that he probably should not have expressed his opinions so publicly. Sure has opened up an interesting national conversation, with even some Republicans criticizing his opinion, and stating they disagree with him. Although Hillary was less than forthright at first when asked her opinion. She later came round in writing and said that she totally disagreed with Gen Pace. And the world just keeps getting more open to the gay discussion.

I hope all of you are doing better than I am. I long for the day when I want to be out among you all enjoying life to the fullest. Until then, keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Thanks guys.

Post Holiday Blues

Well, here we are in the middle of the MLK holiday weekend, and I am feeling blue. Maybe it's global warming, maybe it's the war in Iraq, maybe it's that boob in the White House? I don't know, it could be so many things.

I did spend a nice day at the Detroit Institute of Arts yesterday. Today I was supposed to meet some friends for brunch, but a minor ice storm is keeping me at home. Yesterday I also lost my cell phone in a crowded Greektown restaurant. What a mess that was, the Auto Show was in town on top of having a Red Wings game in progress, it was a zoo.

As a matter of fact I was supposed to head back down to Greektown today to pick up my lost phone, but, see above. More ice and sleet are predicted for tomorrow. I hope I can make it down there soon. Maybe my other half will drive me, he doesn't seem to mind ice and snow.

I think I just may have a touch of the winter blues. Feeling trapped by weather does not help. This is the first real winter weather we have had in a while, thanks to global warming and maybe El Nino. The Dems want to start doing something about it, but the Bush team still has its doubts about the whole greenhouse gases may add to global warming thing. I think they did finally admit that global warming existed. Just a decade or two too late.

Mr. Bush made his big announcement on the war this week. He has so few options now, and of course he chose the deadliest one. And the one that is least likely to succeed. I know that he is starting to worry about his legacy now, hoping against hope that history will see him as some kind of hero who fought against the prevailing tides of his time. On the other hand, he could be thought of as one of the most incompetent Presidents since the 19th century.

Bush's eulogy of Gerald Ford seemed to speak more of himself than of Ford. Someone who made the tough decisions in order to heal a nation. When I think of all the money, resources and lives that we have wasted in Iraq, and of all the good they could be doing here, I just want to spit. And now he has decided that the National Guard will have open-ended active duty. Those poor people signed up to be weekend warriors, and now they may be in never-ending combat missions. It is all so unfair, not to mention ironic considering Mr. Bush's own NG duty (or lack thereof).

Well folks, I am going to try and head out on the road before the next ice storm hits the area. Wish me luck.